Tuesday 3: Great Noob Moments

Yeah, so it’s kind of a rip-off of Del’s Thursday 3 series, except this is on Tuesday. Not Thursday. So it’s totally different and stuff.

Here at Mohawk Troll we like to make fun of others and laugh at them. But we also realize that you have to be able to laugh at yourself as well. (I’m not really sure why I’m using the royal “we” here, but just go along with it.)

So we’re going to flashback a bit and recount 3 noobiest moments in our WoW playing history. Unfortunately, as WoW Toon #1.0, these were all done with Helaena. So everyone point and laugh at her as we remember some not-so-good moments in her early history:

1. The time she drowned in Stormwind

Apparently the mechanics of swimming were too complex for me back in the day. I knew it was possible to swim but I never mastered it and didn’t think it would be a necessary skill. Being a priest with levitate meant I never needed to get my dainty hooves wet.

Until that fateful day when I was tra-la-laing through Stormwind and somehow slipped and fell into the canal. Ack! All of a sudden I was submerged under the water and the little breath bar was ticking down. I started spasming my mouse in an effort to get her out but all it did was spin her around and jack up my camera angle.

Panic! Panic! I’m going to die. I forgot that I could hold down the spacebar until she bobbed to the surface. Instead she frantically thrashed around in the water waiting for a lifeguard that never showed up.

I’m sure the fishing trainer who fished up her corpse wondered why the Alliance had aligned themselves with such a pitiful race that could be taken out so easily.

2. The time she wandered into Undercity

Playing on an RP server is obviously much different than playing on a PvP one. On an RP, you don’t really have much interaction with the other faction. Horde really didn’t mean anything to Helaena, except that it was a group of people that you couldn’t really communicate with. It was simply a different aspect of the game that was being played.

Lorewise,  they were your enemies, but you never engaged them unless you specifically flagged yourself. You could wander through any zone safely as long as you were careful not to flag yourself.

So there she was around level 50, just blithely wandering around Tirisfal. Oh look, a castle. She just walked up to the front entrance, as casual as can be. Even when the screen said Undercity in big, red letters, it didn’t trigger any kind of danger alert for her. At most I thought she was just wandering into a dungeon type area like Dire Maul that was probably too high for her level.

Until she got jumped. The horde in there must have thought it was Christmas to have a noob Ally deliver herself to them. She didn’t make it past the courtyard before she was a stain on the grass.

Later I learned that, yes, that was a horde city and, no, I am not welcome there.

3. Clueless about stats

This one didn’t lead to Helaena’s death (not directly) and I know I’ve mentioned this before. But when I started playing her again after a long hiatus, I was horrified when I looked at her gear and saw what I had equipped her with.

Now, I know that the mechanics of the game were different back in BC times and some of the gear that was handy back then have some questionable stats now (plate gear with hit and mp5 socket bonus? why?). But there was no excuse for some of the stuff she was wearing.

In particular I am thinking of the quest reward cape that had defense on it. Defense. DEFENSE!

She is a priest. I know one of the capes had to have been more suited for her. Did I think that giving her defense would make her live longer? I kind of wonder what I was thinking at the time, but I’m kind of afraid to know.

She was also rocking some hit gear as a holy priest. I would like to pretend it was so she wouldn’t miss so many lolsmites but I know I didn’t know any better.

So much shame. I wonder what the NPC thought when I hurriedly tried to sell that defense cape. “Um, I’m just selling it for a friend.”

It’s funny to look back and think of all the things you didn’t know back when. There are more than 3 nooby things in my past, but I need to cut it off or else I would be here all day.


5 Responses to “Tuesday 3: Great Noob Moments”

  1. Let’s see, noobish things I did in the past

    1. Gear itemization is first. I had spirit on all of my rogue’s gear. I actually went out and bought it off the AH for her too. I even enchanted it on her gear. I thought it would regain her health faster because that is what wowwiki said spirit did. My caster druid had agility on all of her leather gear. If it was leather I equipped it because druids wear leather. Duh. I think the best part was with my mage and lock I would get them weapons based upon the dps that the weapon did. I think I even bought gear and weapons from vendors.

    2. I think my druid died a good 20 or 30 times while trying to do one underwater quest. I could not swim. I remember complaining to Andrew that I just couldn’t do it. He even threatened to come over to my apartment to show me how to swim. He warned me that he would be pissed if he had to do this.

    Somehow I learned to swim REALLY fast.

    3. Vendoring everything. If I got ore, herbs, leather, greens, etc, from a mob drop or a chest, I would sell it to the vendor. I wasn’t even smart enough to send it to my enchanter to DE because I didn’t understand enchanting.

    Makes me kind of sad thinking of all of the money I could have made.

  2. Jumping off ledges in Azeroth right after summoning my mount. I do that waaaay too much. Fortunately, I’m a Mage with slow fall, but usually by the time I realize that I’m on my land mount, I’m already a splat on the floor.


  3. I was a pretty big noob back in the day. On my first hunter I decided I was going to make him a twink, so I got money by hopping guilds and ninjaing the gb.

    One thing I still do is jump off ledges while on my ground mount.

  4. […] Great noob moments! the troll with the bestest mohawk! Check it out. Great humor and insight! […]

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